Wednesday, March 31, 2010

l'étoile Special Edition

In efforts to broaden our readership, we've expanded l'étoile to focus not only on arts, fashion and events, but also important local news! Today's special edition is the kick off of what we're sure will be an informative and cutting edge news source for the Twin Cities and beyond. Check back later today for our Weekend What's What for your regular dose of arts and entertainment a la l'etoile!

MNSpeak introduces new online dating site

Secrets of the City's online news aggregator/community forum, MNSpeak, is prepping to launch their latest endeavor: Geared exclusively towards opinionated jerks, MnDate aims to pair up angry commenters with other angry commenters for dates and long-term relationships. MNSpeak editor Cristina Cordova says, "I know if we could just get these people laid, they'd be much less abrasive and might even post a nice comment on MNSpeak here and there." Upon sign up, singles will be prompted to complete a "Rage Survey" which will include questions with antagonizing topics like local politics, road construction, Steve Marsh, the Twins Stadium and more. Based on the results of the survey, MnDate will automatically generate a list of potential matches that fall within similar levels of jerkiness. Members will fill out profiles with fun form questions such as "If you could punch one local journalist in the face, who would it be and why?" and "List the top 5 reasons why MNSpeak was better when Rex was in charge." The new dating site will also allow singles to pick from a wide range of enticing avatars including an exploding nuclear bomb, an animated picture of Spock, a sandwich, and the ever-popular gray anonymous silhouette. For more info and to sign up visit

Prince writes Fight Song for Chanhassen kids

Hot on the heels of his Vikings Fight song, the Purple one has decided to expand his horizons to more community-based projects, and his first order of business involves a Chanhassen Little League team. Sources say that Prince spent 20 minutes in the back of a limo penning the fight song, which will debut at the team's home opener in a few weeks. There's rumored to be an "epic guitar solo a la Purple Rain" involved, though the majority of the song is said to be made up of yelps, yips, and funky screeches. Prince's lawyers also are said to have drawn up a contract that requires the team to change their name to "The Princes" and wear tight purple flared-leg uniforms for the rest of the season. The contract also states that Prince will not be attending any games or making any contact with the team or the community. A rep for Prince contacted us over a self-destructing cell phone while using a voice decoder simply stating, "No comment."

City Pages' Gimme Noise Blog plans benefit show for underprivileged hipsters

City Pages music gossip blog, Gimme Noise, recently announced that they'd be hosting a very special benefit concert for an oft overlooked demographic: underprivileged hipsters. Editor Andrea Swensson says "Hipsters are too cool to get 'real jobs' but they're also too pretentious to apply for any sort of government assistance, like food stamps, which is why they are always so skinny and mangy looking. We here at Gimme Noise understand their plight, and since we cater to this demographic almost exclusively, we decided, what the hell, let's raise some money for a good cause!" Apparently, the money raised will be converted into gift cards for American Apparel, First Avenue comp tickets, and vouchers for free burritos at Little Tijuana's (good for use only after 2am). Event sponsor Pabst Blue Ribbon will match every dollar raised with a Tall Boy, to be parceled out to needy hipsters at a secret location after party the same night, hosted by local DJ crew The Moon Goons. The benefit show will be held in the First Ave mainroom with a hipster-friendly line up including Solid Gold, P.O.S., and Lookbook, along with a DJ set by Sovietpanda and visuals by projection whiz, Time Squid. Peeps are also encouraged to donate gently used clothing items and accessories to the "Help-a-Hipster Clothing Drive" such as fringed scarves, lensless glasses, acid-washed skinny jeans, ironic and/or oversized t-shirts, and anything with a kitten on it. For more info visit

Transmission DJ Jake Rudh to direct new workout video

You've all been to Jake Rudh's weekly Transmission dance party at Clubhouse Jager, and have probably worked yourself into a sweaty frenzy on the dance floor on more than one occasion. Well, Rudh has now taken his popular business model and come up with a stellar concept, a series of workout videos entitled Sweatin' to the '80s with DJ Jake Rudh. In the coming weeks, Clubhouse Jager will be transformed into a makeshift film studio where the popular DJ will lead a series of choreographed work out routines based on dance moves already being utilized in the club. Says Rudh, "I plan to turn such off the cuff moves as 'The drunken idiot,' 'the wave your hands in the air like you just don't care,' and 'the I'm too cool for school shuffle' into fun and easy work out techniques." The real star of the video, however, will be Transmission regular, Niles, whose patented "high kick" will be the ultimate challenge for exercisers. Rudh adds, "I think this video will not only help people be healthier, but it will also give them the tools they need to succeed on the dance floor and maybe even in their love lives. It's a proven fact that the "High Kick" can get you laid, just ask Niles." The video is slated for release later this summer and will come packaged with a size small t-shirt with a picture of Jake's face on it. Rudh says, "the small t-shirt will encourage people to lose weight so they can fit into it, and everyone knows good looking, skinny people wearing a shirt with your face on it is great promotion, I mean, hello, it's marketing 101!" For more information and to pre-order the video, visit Transmission's Facebook page HERE.

Chris Strouth's kidney "complications"

It seems like just yesterday that we were celebrating local producer and scene staple Chris Strouth's successful kidney transplant that was arranged via Twitter, but apparently he's having some, er, "complications." Strouth called us up to give us the skinny, saying "The kidney Scott Pakudaitis donated to me is haunted. Now I know why he was so eager to get rid of it. Ever since the transplant I've been having reoccurring nightmares in which the kidney speaks to me, telling me to 'kill.' I'm convinced this kidney is darksided." According to Strouth, there are other indications that the kidney is evil, "When children or virgins are near, the kidney lets off a high-pitched squeal that sounds like a pig being slaughtered. It's unnerving." Chris' wife Mo is suffering as well, "the kidney is always poking me in the back when we're in bed. It's like a teenage boy, except much more evil. I'm getting really sick of its pick up lines too, which are always spoken in Latin, backwards. That kidney needs to go." Chris has been trying to get a hold of Pakudaitis to see if he's willing to swap kidneys, but so far his calls have gone un-returned.

Fashion designer Max Lohrbach plans estate sale

This weekend, one of l'étoile's favorite fashion designers, Max Lohrbach, opens up his family home in a small parish outside of Rochester for an estate sale. But it's not clothing he'll be peddling. Max's closest pals know the designer has a penchant for swiping Bic lighters from them, amassing a strangely huge collection - but the hoarding apparently doesn't stop there - the press release for the sale lists such objets d'arte as "an enormous button collection, hundreds of pill boxes filled with color-coded skittles, 27 broken typewriters, three cases airsickness bags from 1978, a peg-board covered in banana labels, 39 cats, and much more." It may be your last chance to see Max before the designer escapes to live in abandoned lighthouse on the North Shore to take up a new profession: fisherman. "Though I would love to be a couturier, my dream has always been to return to my family's Dutch roots. It also gives me a chance to get out my knitting machine!" The sale runs both Saturday and Sunday from noon-6pm.

Blacklist Vintage gets some new stock

l'etoile recently got a sneak preview of Blacklist Vintage's new space on Nicollet, which they'll be officially opening this April. Owners Jennifer Sapiro and Vanessa Messersmith have transformed the hip vintage boutique's signature retro look into something they call "uber-mega-super-retro." Messersmith says, "There are so many vintage boutiques out there, so we decided to set ourselves apart." The shop's new stock includes such "classic" fashion items as suits of armor, which Sapiro says can be modernized with something as simple as "a flowy, feminine scarf or a good pair of high heels." However, the girls are most excited about their new inventory of powdered wigs, which they claim turn into "George Washington futurism chic" when matched with a Jackie O era pillbox hat and a pair of slatted, neon sunglasses from the '80s. Grand Opening festivities are set for Wednesday, April 21st and will include complimentary wooden mugs of ale and a performance by Vanessa's husband, tunesmith Jeremy Messersmith, who will sing old-timey folk songs inspired by the French Revolution and RenFest. For more info visit

Anthem Heart announces new artistic process

Tired of being hired only for live t-shirt screen-printing gigs, local design group Anthem Heart is taking their screening skills to a new medium: the human body! Anthem Heart co-founder Ken Hannigan explains, "Let's face it. We live in Minnesota, so I don't blame anyone for being a bit prudish. I say more power to us for being creative enough to get girls to take off their clothes! But make no mistake, we'll do dudes too if they ask, as long as they wax first." To kick off the new project, the AH team will host an event at downtown nightclub, Barfly, entitled "Born to be Nudez." Hannigan tells us that the party will be sponsored by Red Bull and will include live body screen-printing, mini-ramp skateboarding, live graffiti painting, and vodka Red Bull 3-for-1 drink specials. DJs Attitude City join Hannigan (aka DJ Real Talk Radio) on the decks for the occasion as well. Attitude City ladies' man-about-town Jeff DuBois claims he's found a new theme for the annual Attitude City Yacht party - body-screened nautical wear! "Just think - you won't have to spend time looking for a boat party outfit!" For more info and to sign up to be screen printed visit

1 comment:

aRTdesign said...

Nice work, ladies! Still laughing about last year's, though!!! Classic.